...

They were not speaking. Ever since she found out.

He was sleeping one night and I could hear him have nightmares screaming that he doesn't want to feel the pain anymore.

I believe in second chances, even third or fourth because my God is a God of nth chances. I will never give up on people that easy, just as Jesus never gave up on me. Words were freed, feelings were continuously being held back but this can't be the end of it.

In Science I learned there are different types of color opacity: transparent when you can clearly see light through it, translucent when only some light is able to pass and opaque, when light can't pass through. At this point I feel like there is an opaque wall between today and what will be of tomorrow. I can only do as much as rely on the Lord's guidance to lead the way. I will never want to initiate a wrong move as much as my surrendered know-it-all being is concerned.

Everything is easier said than done. I feel like all the learning and divine intervention has led to this. This practical test, this application. I know that my God is sovereign. In 1 Cor 10:31 it says that He will only give us as much as we can handle.

There are peaceful nights, when I am completely certain that everything is a puzzle piece in His big perfect plan. I thank God for these nights, when I can sleep in the comfort of His promises that eventually this will be a wonderful part of my testimony when I see Him.

As human as I can be, there are raging nights I almost cannot handle. Nights when I outdo myself in the little game I like to call 'ugly crying to the Lord'. Tonight's one of those nights.

My feelings may change and my view may get a little distorted at times but my comfort is in this, that my God is love. James 1:2-4 says, 'Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.'

It's 11:16 and I am writing this figuring out what I needed to study for my interview on a job position I am clueless about for my dream department with almost impossible belief that I can do it.

I like to think that I am optimistic and that I see the brighter spectrum of things. Believe it or not I always end up weighing all the possibilities of every little aspect of all the circumstances every single day of my life. Very rarely do I say, "Meh, whatever." I overthink a lot. A freaking lot. I overthink when someone says, I look younger on shirts. I overthink, when some stranger smiles at me. I overthink the words of the job description of the post I am applying for. I overthink everything.

I am just tired but still Thank You, Lord for everything. Though I'm clueless I know you have the perfect plan for everything.

Nababaliw na naman ako

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bago

Bakit parang nagbago na sila. Ganun ba talaga pag nagkakalayo at napupunta sa magkakaibang lugar? Siguro nga. Parang hindi ko na sila kilala. Parang may sarili na ulit silang mundo, yung mundo na sila lang ang may alam nung hindi pa kami magkakakilala. Parang iba na yung trip nila at iba na yung gusto nilang pag-usapan. Parang hindi na kami nagkakaintindihan katulad nang dati.

Ang lungkot lang siguro, na yung inasahan mong hindi magbabago, biglang gugulatin ka na lang. Siguro hindi naman talaga dapat na maramdaman ko 'to. Dahil wala naman akong karapatan(?) Buhay naman nila yun at ako, maliit na parte lang naman ako dun. Siguro dapat na masanay na lang ako, tanggapin na nagbabago ang mga tao.

Kahit pa sabihin nilang hindi.

What part of "We're over." can't you understand?

So, I had just finished the first season of Awkward and I still had so much feels so I'm not ready for, yet another, outburst of emotions.

I don't know how to respond, seriously.
I just thought you've fully grasped the idea of 'we' becoming 'you' and 'me'
(oh i made a rhyme)

I'm just so freaking tired of me trying to be 'civil' with you.
I can't delete delete you on facebook because i just freaking can't.

I'm actually kinda hoping that maybe, you would go out and see a little bit more of what the world has in store for everyone.

I did what I have to do.
So you should prolly do what you have to, too.

HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER: CCF Training Center

Yesterday was the very first worship service of the newly constructed CCF Training Center at the Frontera Verde, Ortigas, Pasig City.


When we arrived, as expected, many people were either waiting or chatting. The moment I step foot inside the building I was in awe. An awe characterized with the lack of normal expression because normal was not present in that building. It was just unbelievably beautiful. No, scratch that. It was unbelievable.


When I saw my mom and my two sisters I came to them and we went straight for the escalators. The 2nd floor was just as mesmerizing as the first. White, people, amazing lights. Awe awe awe.

We chose to stay on the lower balcony because it was less crowded. We settled in and waited for the service to begin. While waiting, I look around and just gaze at every intricate detail of the worship hall.




After a few minutes the worship service began and the curtains opened with the choir along with the worship leaders behind it. The view was so fascinating and one can truly feel God in the praise and worship.


After the praise and worship, Pastor Peter came up on stage and told us the brief history of CCF, how they began searching for a bigger place, how they found the Frontera Verde lot, how they overcame each and every struggle and how God worked and overpowered the project. The preaching was about the church and the Ekklesia.



The service was such a blessing. Everything went fine.

God is truly great and His love endures forever.

To God be all the Glory!

(All photos from: Christ's Commission Fellowship)

Mother's Day and Pizza

On the eve of Mother's Day, everyone in my family's at home. And it was such bliss, you know, just being complete and happy and giddy with them. So we told story after story about our day.

We weren't expecting someone until my cousin, Prox came knocking. We saw him on the doorstep carrying a box of pizza

A box of pizza.
A box of pizza.
A box of pizza.

Imagine our reactions, when he said, "Happy mother's day!" and then wholeheartedly handed the box of pizza to my mom.

Wawoohoo.

Bliss.