Tough times; Brilliant realizations

I am really having a hard time right now. Pretty rough moments that I can't just run away from.

Right now I am not really (absolutely) sure if I can still continue studying in Beda next semester because Tito can't support(?) me completely because he's paying (also!) for Kuya Prox's UST fees. For once in my life, I felt the urge to plan for myself(the real way) I mean, I should really find a way to not stop what I have started. I can't imagine myself just sitting at home doing nothing on a school day. I can't stop. SO I REALLY SHOULD FIND A WAY.

I almost gave up because of mixed emotions! I mean I've always absorbed the fact that God has planned my college to be spent in San Beda but what is happening. I eventually realized that I can never question the great plans of God for me. I can never doubt Him. And that I can never mislead His plans for my life.

I figured I could go to UP and inquire about their acceptance for transferees (blahs) I really don't know where else to go because even though I am considering alternatives, I just can't imagine myself in a not so-so university or college. (MAYBE THAT'S WRONG) but I believe that I am with God and God is with me so nothing's impossible.

I almost forgot the value of modesty until my English prof made us watch this football movie "Facing the Giants" it was about a football coach and his team facing and fighting for a state championship. What struck me most was when the coach said something like this.

"God, I don't deserve any of these but you gave them to me."

And then I was pretty awaken by the quote and I realized that I don't want to live for my own victory. I don't wanna win for myself, I wanna do everything for His glory because I don't deserve anything from this world. I mean, I am a sinner, dirty and worn out but He died for my sins and that's why I am right where I am now. And then I dream to testify for Him one day.

Another thing, daddy's almost going again to work abroad. He's headed for Qatar this time and I believe that whatever happens, God will always plan for us. I figured that God gives people problems because He believes that we can overcome all those and it is a privilege to be given a problem by God. I MEAN WOAH GOD. You really believe I can do that so thanks!

I am really trying to be optimistic and I know that it will pay off in the future. I should prioritize things and I should know my goals all for the glory of God!

--